Valentine's Day Thoughts

As of Friday, I am between jobs. I refuse to say I'm unemployed - this is something I have been told not to think once and there is a good reason for this. It attracts bad Karma.

I can't quite come to terms with this situation, it's so bizarre. On the very same day when B. left the country for good, I have been let go from my job. Not in a pleasant or very constructive way, I have been sacked with a ridiculous excuse. I was plain shocked at first. Then, I laughed. Then, I got angry and I cried. And then I laughed some more.

You see, it feels to me as if I was a character in a play. The way events unfolded couldn't be any more unlikely and if it would be a book one would find it ridiculously cheesy. Yet, It's my life.

For the last five weeks, since I learned that B. is leaving for good to Switzerland, I was thorn. I have established myself here, I said to him, I have a job, an apartment I love, some friends. I can't just leave like this, sure I can't. We had a number of discussions about the future of our relationship and the strength of our love. We had conversations about fate as well, how it has brought us together. I mean, how unlikely it is that we would land in the same country in the same time an join the same company to work on the same floor few desks away from each other? How unlikely is that we would go out for a dinner on the fourteenth of February, hopelessly fall in love and stay together for four years through good, bad and the ugly?

And now, how unlikely it is that he would get a job in Switzerland with the new year, decide to leave on the 15th of February, have to change his flights due to family issues for the 11th and how unlikely it is that this was the same day when my employer would decide to let me go thus removing majority of my doubts about moving?

This must have been fate.

I suddenly feel very free and it seems to me that the path in front of me is clear.
I need to de-clutter my life and set my affairs in this country in order. I'm already thinking about packing my things (and sure, I dread it but it has to be done) and making lists of all the people I will need to write to. Cancel direct debits. Cancel agreements. Pay off bills and such. Get in touch with my embassy. Get a work permit. Pack. Get a removals service. Move. Get a job in the meantime. Get a tax refund. All very confusing, very paperworky (hate that) and complicated. Yet I've done this before; I will be fine. In the meantime I will loose weight, grow my hair back and become the best I can be. Oh, and there are studies to attend as well.

By the 25th of August, date marking five years since my arrival in Ireland, I will be well gone.

I thought I will end up on my own in a job I hate having to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Yet, everything is slotting itself in place. The irony of this situation doesn't escape me and I can't help the feeling that it was all meant to be.

So there, my Valentines Day is filled, if not with love, then for sure with a lot of deep thoughts about life and love.
Life, as it said, is what happens when you are busy planning other things.
Love on the other hand is written in the stars.