1 min read

Doing nothing important and not feeling guilty about it

I have had this strange feeling that there ought to be more to life than this for some time now. Actually, for most of my semi-adult life.
I've had a feeling that there has to be something wrong with people who don't see that, who go about their lives day after day with no reflection whatsoever on why are they doing this not the other and what is the meaning of all, taking their time on earth for granted and doing nothing important with it and not feeling guilty about it.

I have been feeling like this for a long time, I mentioned, and only recently I have discovered that to a bypasser it would seem that my life isn't exactly so different than those people I've been mentally criticizing.

I get up almost every day at the same time, take a shower, dress up, go to work, deal with some spreadsheets, surf some web during lunchtime, deal with more spreadsheets, go home, surf some more web, watch TV, eat, play some games, sometimes go to the cinema. The "exciting" parts of my life are not visible to a bypasser, or even to some people I spoke to more than twice. They can't look into my head and see that I've been thinking deep thoughts and I have a plan of taking off those shackles of normality and that, beneath it all, I'm mad as a hatter.

I thought then, have I been unfair in my judgement? Beneath this dullness of human lives, is there a spark of sanity? Maybe those people, underneath the layer of normality, are just like me?

Maybe all the hope isn't lost, I thought, maybe it's just superficial lack of thought?

Shortly after I hopped on the bus, heading home, and I saw that blond girl in the bus who was totally like, whatever, talking to her also blond friend who was totally like, whatever, too. I like, totally changed my mind. I think, hope is like, lost. Or at least lost-ish, you know? Like, seriously.

Thinking is just SO uncool.

I should just get myself a new pair of shoes, instead.
(like those that Katy Perry wears in her new video and everyone talks about because they are SO cool.)