I went to my kitchen one evening for a cup of coffee. It was early, the sun was just about to go down. Not without a surprise I noticed a dark spot on my ceiling, just above the cupboard. The spot was moving - "o, just a spider!" I thought, made myself my coffee and switched off the light as I left the kitchen.
You see, I don't mind spiders. I don't like them, but I'm not afraid or grossed out when I see them, so I let them be - mainly because the only insects that I truly despise and can't stand around the house are files. Hate them buzzing zigzagging things. And so, a common enemy puts me and spiders on the same side and we have some sort of pact of non-aggression.
Later that evening, as I finished watching Stargate Universe, I went to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. I realised then that the dark spot is not where it was, rather, it has turned into a large group of dark speckles around the lamp, of which some were hanging down from that lamp on invisible bungees.
The tiny little eight legged miniatures that normal spiders grow from.
All over my ceiling.
All over my KITCHEN ceiling.
I did what I do so rarely that you could almost say I never do. I reached for the hoover. And I hoovered off every creepy one of them. And every corner of my kitchen, my living room, my bedroom, bathroom, toilet and corridor.
I'm sure that some survived, but they better not come out until they're grown up.
And they better not overcrowd my kitchen ceiling, too.