For the last few weeks I was doing some on and off jobs for an
acquaintance of mine, A., who owns an embroidery shop in Bray and needed some help with things such as accounts, business identity and such. I didn't get much out of it, probably some €300 in total that went straight back into my bills, so actually I didn't profit from this much more than getting some more peace of mind and a night or two of drinks and enjoyment. Today he told me that he won't be working with me anymore, because at the moment there are no orders and therefore not enough money to share between the two of us. He will still pay me for the work on the website and the such, but that's about it.
Sure it wasn't much money but it was some extra boost here and there. This week is particularly difficult for me financially and it pisses me off just a little to know that it just simply will remain so until I find a proper job. There is no proper job on the horizon and frankly I'm back at square one. It seemed like a such a great idea at the time, but instead I'm again proven I cannot trust anyone in anything.
I wish I could just sleep trough this time and wake up to some better and greener future, but I can't pretend not to know that the future must be built by myself, it will not fix itself on it's own. Meaning: If I don't change the direction soon, I will end up where I'm going and I don't really like this destination much right now.
Trying to lift myself from the doom and gloom I went on the seafront and sat on the bench facing the water. As I was basking in the sun and looking for jobs online a ladybug landed on my neck, then she migrated on to my right hand, then my left and walked all the way up my sleeve till she flew away. It had seven dots. It's very lucky to see a ladybug, to have one land on you even luckier and for it to have seven or more dots even more lucky: it signifies that I will marry within seven months or have seven years of luck depending on the superstition of choice. I wouldn't mind both.
I could really do with some luck coming my way, really.